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3 Steps To Get The Girl

Easier said than done? I didn’t say it wouldn’t require work but it’s work worth doing!

Step 1: First of all I’d like for you to create a love list. This is a list of all the nice things people say about you even if you have to reach as far as “my mom says it’s great that I floss two times a day.” It doesn’t matter just start writing and if you run out of things you or other people love about you then take a break and get back to it later. You will eventually have a long list of things that make you awesome.

Step 2: I want you to write an ad describing the person you want to meet. Be specific! The traits, mannerisms, hobbies, characteristics and be realistic! If you’re a middle aged man living in his parents basement it isn’t fair to expect your girlfriend to be a Supermodel. If you want to date a model you need to embody the same traits she has (put a lot of effort into your appearance and step up your drive!) You can’t find what you’re looking for if you don’t know what it is AND you can’t find the girl you’re looking for if you’re not looking in the right place. If your dream girl spends her quality time in the library you likely won’t find her in a nightclub.

Step 3: Get better at reading people! When you can properly read someone they will feel connected and understood. Not only will this make you more likable but it will help get you out of your own head! When you read someone you aren’t just listening to what they’re saying. The majority of communication is body language and tone of voice so you’ll need to really pay attention! My favorite way to fine tune that skill is to choose 3 people every day to read. If you’re standing in line at Starbucks look at the person in front of you. Are they checking their watch, doing a poll on instagram about if they should have the cinnamon dolce or caramel macchiato, are they breathing slowly and deeply or taking shallow breaths into their chest. If you choose to start a conversation with them match their breathing first (be subtle, you were given peripheral vision for a reason!) subtly match some of their body language. You can mirror them by placing a hand in your pocket or use the same hand as them. Just little things that make them feel you’re on the same wavelength. The emphasis is on subtlety you can easily cross the line into lunatic by obsessively ogling and mimicking their every move. Learning to read people will help you in any aspect of your life!

You didn’t become the person you are now overnight so you won’t become the person you want to be instantly. If you take steps every day towards your dreams you will eventually get to your desired destination. Keep yourself focused on the positive and more positives will grow. Start with these 3 Steps and watch as your love life starts to transform! For more info, one on one coaching, my 13 week course, The Art Of PickUp, available now, and more head to

Erika Jordan

Licensed Sexologist/ Love Coach / NLP practitioner and ACE certified health coach

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